White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
