a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
