Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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