At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
This gyro tastes like lonliness
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
