Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
