we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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