I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
