kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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