yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
