Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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