is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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