evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
