no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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