so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
