Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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