My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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