Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
