Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Holy shit dude........stairs
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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