it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
