arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
