I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
