drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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