Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
