so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
