Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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