we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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