No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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