I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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