He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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