Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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