i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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