I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize