he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
