I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
