I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
