Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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