i will never coherently bang her
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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