We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
oh god the rape fog is back!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
