dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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