Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
