my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
