mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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