I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
