Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
nutella sex= disaster
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
