Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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