Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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