I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
