capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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