belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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