On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
