she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
