Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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