he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
