i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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