i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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