i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
