If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
