i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
