I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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