Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
