I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize