Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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