3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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